To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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