I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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