remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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