I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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