I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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