come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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