you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize