lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize