I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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