Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
