I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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