i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
