Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
