It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
