No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
