I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
