I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
