they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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