I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
