i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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