what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
