His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
