She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
