I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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