Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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