In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Less talking, more tequila
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
