never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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