Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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