YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
