you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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