i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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