I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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