It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Terrible idea I love it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
