your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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