So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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