His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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