He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
