How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
