Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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