walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
