guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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