I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize