my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize