So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
