You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
