Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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