Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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