I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
