Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
