there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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