he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sorry about my life...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
