I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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