I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
