i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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