she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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