Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
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Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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