So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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