My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I fill condoms, not promises.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
