Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
