Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
