If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
