We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
