Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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