and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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