feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
