I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
